Living, This and That

Don"t Stand In your Own way

In our youth, we all have clearly defined goals and paths that we wish to travel on... As we approach the stressful years of adolescence sometimes it changes. However reality really sets in once we approach young adulthood.. As we navigate this new found freedom, the lessons of our parents make more sense.... Longing for adulthood and living it presents a difference... 

Growing up has its joys but gosh I do wish at times to journey back to those careful days of youth... without the bills, without the responsibilities... Just innocent and wonder.... What to do? Must one wander in self-pity and regret about what should be or what should happen? Should one keep wishing endlessly for things to happen? Or should the adult who has lived adapt to the changes and make the most out of what life had given? 

I have asked myself those questions... Navigation of this life takes everything... But its strength, toughness and will-power that makes all the difference... Using the "oranges" to make juices and a wide variety of things instead of complain and regretting that the "oranges" are not the "APPLES" that were expected.... 

Today I can make orange juice, Later maybe orange sorbet or some orange popsicles... I can combine my oranges with other fruits and make even more... Who knows....... perhaps one day I might get the APPLES I so desire. It's a long tough journey but one has to keep walking... 

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Being Frugal

Yesterday I thought back to the days, over two plus years ago when I had my financial mishaps. Those days and nights of tears, hopelessness, weakness and despair... wanting for better but unable to find a way through my own self-righteous pity..

So many lessons learnt the hard way... Being so alone and feeling so alone.... Learning to make do with the little that I had... and doing without when nothing was available to me.. For many days I said nothing but spent my time dreaming and wondering how I allowed things to get this bad.... At the time I regretted nothing ... but blamed only me.... 

Slowly I began to appreciate every dime I earned... Accepting jobs that aiding in paying the bills. For several months, I operated a daycare out of my home.. Later I went on a construction hob where I learnt the art of painting and using various carpentry tools.

I believed that better would come and it did..... Today life is different but the same. I have more spending power more than before but tough lessons come my way always... Sometimes I wonder if my sacrifices are appreciated.. Life will tell..... Lessons still progressing.....

Constructing seems to be my hobby.. I just love having space... Yet there comes a time when I need to stop... Just to stop... It's an expensive hobby but it brings me a lot of joy... Have a great deal to do but in time and through baby steps I will get things done...

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Meal Prep

Haven't done a meal prep in quite a long time. It appears that I have forgotten or is it that life got so busy that bits dropped at the wayside.

My list of things that I find pleasure in doing have become so minimal.Making tortillas, smoothies, ice cream, my ice teas and ice coffees.... These things have been replaced by worry... By thoughts of not doing enough. Starvation and sickness have taken my joys... 

I suppose that as the mind weakens and becomes centers on worries about other things the body physically suffers........