I have been trying and at this moment I am beyond exhausted...
When I am ready to move out I have to check myself and what is love keeps me back...
When I think I have all the answers I find myself still holding on tightly..
Why do I insist that happiness, my happiness is found with anyone but me....
I hate this pain.... I hate this Fucking pain of feeling...
There are plans in my head to do a few thing and just detach myself from all emotions... I so can do it but I am lazy.... I just dont want to return to the person who has the coldness... Perhaps I will after all is said and done....
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Non Binary
Today I am realizing about me.. perhaps I am just non binary at times.... I am so much in pain at this age trying to figure things out.....
Why does this have to weigh so greatly on my mind? Why do I have to endure all of this just because I hate being in my skin?
My presentation sucks... I just can't like myself.... I am not ok... far from ok..... I so want to be ok.... I want to be happy once more appreciating the person that I see in the mirror.... Right now I just don' see love...
If only I can escape from this internalized pains that I can't talk to anyone but the space available to me here.......
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