Friday, May 13, 2016

Why Do I have so much?

www.warriorwalksa.com
The emotional trails of my life encompass me.... Each day is filled with everything... sadness, hope, happiness, regret, failures..... There is no self-pity or a delusion. It's my battle field that I journey on.....

The pains are real but there is little to no tears...... I have become stronger as I find myself alone battling the demons within. The demons that keep me awake at night,,, The demons that take hold of me... The demons that are determined to keep me bond.

How do I overcome these demons that hold me captive? Sometimes I burn to give up and forget... Wipe the memories from within... Existing without truly living.

Yet I have to keep me on firm grounds not giving in...

There are so many demons.... so so many demons that engulf me as flames... So hot so unbearable.... so demoralizing.... I am truly suffocating... I seek a hand to guide me.... I seek a hand to strengthen me.... The only hand avail to me is my own... The only hand that has truly been my own.....

My pain is so all consuming.... Each day I arise and I am grateful. Seeking newness and the will.....

In this I find myself so ready to place the past in its vault....

Why do I feel this way? The blended emotions are in control.... Yet I will be ok
____________________________

Cuddling Me
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Sometimes I wish to have another's strength.................
Sometimes I desire to have the one I love hold me and never let me go..............

Sometimes I need to be held with such strength so I can cry.......
I have longed to feel truly feel and be loved............

I keep waiting................................
Perhaps I am waiting in vain ..................................
Just perhaps ........................................................

The point comes when one just awake and realize that one really is alone.....
And knowing this being alone is what allows the searching and the digging to begin..... It causes the strength to arise that has been allowed to rest.

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