Friday, April 15, 2016

Life Casuals

I laid awake into the wee morning hows. Knowing I had to call you but being stubborn enough to refrain. I couldn't keep my thoughts from you, I just couldn't but I remained firm. Yet coincidence had it that as I picked up the phone to call you, your text came into me... I smiled knowing that my baby was up thinking of me as I was her.

Life feels is ok right now... So so ok. The world is happening around me. My daily stress engulf me yet when I pick up the phone, when I speak with you or I text you.. When I hear your voice or I think back fondly of our past life and what is possible in the future, my day becomes so much more cheerful... 

I can put the miseries of life away in those moment and just be so happy in love...... This is what I feared most in life in my early day and now that I have found you in truth I don't ever want to let you go. I don't want to lose the one person that makes me feel so complete.

We both have gone through what life had planned for us. We both have learnt so as to be better not only for each other but for our lives and those we interact with. We became better through tears and struggles. We became better starting again from ground zero. The road ahead would have so many ups and downs, so many temptations, so many struggles and times of desperation, so many points of trials. Yet once we have each other we can over come anything that the world throws at us.
Needing to Empty my Head
Yesterday I was so deep in thoughts and reflections.. I had my sad moments when I looked back. I thought "would my life really had been different if I had taken different paths and made different decisions?"

The answer will never be mine to own... I can only live in my own narrative. No ones else can live this life and write this story but me. 

During my discomfort I have found the strength within to grow and to be more in tuned with what makes me ok... Its never easy... Never easy but I have to live it. There are so so many battles ahead of me but I need to be whole for the one that means love,
As of late I have been trying to be less anal about not being able to clean and be on top of my cleaning as I normally am. Its a change that I need to make for myself so I can enjoy other things in life. Yet I question myself asking "Isn't this a part of who I am?" Why do I need to change such an important part of being me....

Need to pick up a few sponges here and there to get things done.

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