Maybe this is what depression feels like... I hate little space where I am happy... I keep trying to find a way to smile beyond a couple of minutes.. I am just so sad for too many times... I don't want to be here... I hate this life that I live.. I hate my job.. I want to move into difference

I don't understand this...  These emotions are not new to me but the extended time has me wondering... Why am I so unhappy? I just keep searching for more ... I keep looking in all corners to find but sadness..

The cleaning and tidiness is what I am.. I get annoyed at work because they expect me to keep it all clean, it is not my job but alas I cannot eat in a dirty kitchen.. This is me and it kills me..... I am not feeling my life at the moment.....